Be the Person You Choose to Love

Imagine yourself feeling whole

There are no gaps

There's no sense of loss

You have a spark of joy in your heart

You have the energy to do what you love most

You feel grateful, confident, and so full of self love that all you want to do is give to others

Yes ... I know who you are ... you are the person who loves to love ... who loves to give ... who loves to see others happy

You see, for those among us who love deeply, we get confused over time in how to best love others

We think we need to give more of ourselves to ease others' pain
We think we need to sacrifice our comfort so that another can be more comfortable
And we think that it's our responsibility to bring happiness to this world

Here's the thing ... while it's understandable to WANT to ease others' pain, to create comfort to their lives, and to bring happiness to others ... the REALity is that we actually want those things for ourselves.

Whether you are a closet co-dependent, a recovering co-dependent, or have yet to realize that you are a co-dependent, if you depend on the happiness or control of others as the primary source of your own happiness, you ARE co-dependent.

According to the website Positive Psychology: "To sum up, codependency is a psychological concept that refers to people who feel extreme amounts of dependence on certain loved ones in their lives, and feel responsible for the feelings and actions of those loved ones."

Still unsure if you struggle with co-dependency, check out this helpful video:

https://youtu.be/r9VexoTZnrw

If you're still reading, let's jump in to what you can do to move forward in your life

To be the person you choose to love:

Begin with AWARENESS - notice the ways you give in to the needs of other people, even when they go against what you want.
CHOOSE a step to take - all change begins with a single step ... and the smaller, the better, because it makes it doable. For example, you can choose to journal your feelings after your partner criticizes you, or perhaps you choose to notice where in your body you feel the pain of being criticized ... to increase your awareness of the experience.
COMMIT again and again to what you choose in step 2 - lean in to the learning process, and continue to build awareness around your choice so that you can make modifications as you go. This commitment step is not rigid, instead it is a fluid commitment to getting more and more in tune with your experience.
Build CONSISTENCY - this is a step of re-commitment on a daily basis to deepen your awareness and forward action around the habits you choose.
REPEAT - continue to rotate through these steps of awareness, choosing an action step, committing to take action, and building consistency until you find new awareness and action ... always pushing the movement of your learning and transformation forward

The truth is that you ARE loving, and you do care about others' feelings. And the key to maximizing how much you can give, is to unlock the love you have for yourself.

Step into your self-love today so that you can give to others from a place of having enough, and let go of feeling like you need more.

You’ve got this!

You are stronger than you know.

Love,

Coach Rebecca