Thunder Thighs
“Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.”
― Nathaniel Branden
I can recall the exact tree where Joey Butler told me he liked me . . . we were in fifth grade.
I also remember a couple weeks later him calling me “thunder thighs” . . . just after a game of Ghost in the Graveyard.
There’s not a single other thing I can tell you about this boy . . . except that I think he had chestnut colored hair.
But those words, thunder thighs, haunted my psyche for the next three decades. I don’t know about you, but that’s a long time to care about the opinion of a pre-adolescent neighborhood boy.
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In my lifetime, I’ve met less than five women who don’t carry around some critical voice in their mind:
“your hair is frizzy!”
“you’re ugly!”
“you’re out of control”
“you are too sensitive!”
“you’re so stupid!”
“you shouldn’t be here!”
. . . [fill in the blank]
Ouch! These hurt.
Do you have a voice like that in your mind?
Are you like me, and heard it once and latched onto it as gospel?
Or, did your perpetrator repeatedly remind you of their position to judge you?
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Whatever the circumstances, are you ready to set those self-harming beliefs down?
Whoever the perpetrator, can you distance yourself enough to see that those words came from their pain and smallness . . . not yours?
Can you give yourself permission to set down that hurt and anger . . . and begin to rebuild what they should have told you?
“your hair is lovely!”
“you are beautiful!”
“you must be having a hard day? Do you want to talk?”
“that must have really hurt when she said that.”
“it sounds like math is a challenge this year. Should we set aside time to practice?”
“I’ve been waiting for you! I’m so glad you came.”
. . . . [fill in the blank]
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I believe in leading with strength in all things . . . especially related to health . . . precisely because I’ve had a number of people in my life who have exerted their power and authority over me to make me feel little . . . and have completely stepped on my personal boundaries as a result.
When we lack physical strength, we are more vulnerable to others getting into our circle of personal comfort.
However, when we build strength, it allows us to take up space. I’m talking about physical, emotional, and mental space.
It is time to push back by establishing your boundaries.
Take care of yourself with exercise. Do something you enjoy . . . and do it consistently.
Eat whole foods. Get rid of the junk food. (When you eat junk food, it confirms and reaffirms that negative voice in your head: “low quality”; “ugly”; “out of control”.)
Take time to let your mind and body relax with activities that are calming and bring you joy. Use this time to connect in person with someone who lifts you up.
Disconnect from social media accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. (Be honest . . . they are not inspiring you . . . but dragging you down. They are your mind’s way of proving how true those people were about you.) Disconnect.
I challenge you to do these four things for a set amount of time. Notice how you think and feel about yourself beforehand, and how it changes after being kind to yourself.
And let me know how it went. I’d like to know.
Strength for Life, in a body you love.
-Coach Rebecca