“The world needs us to be fierce enough to see challenges as gifts, to express our unique selves, and to expand the limits of what is possible. The only thing getting in the way is that we get stuck trying to find our way out of pain and discomfort. There is no way to avoid uncertainty. There is no guarantee of safety.”
― Susie Caldwell

When I’m stressed, I want one thing: for it to all go away.

And since I can’t actually make things disappear, I make myself go away.

Specifically, I either:

1. Go to sleep, or

2. Eat (just to eat…not because I’m hungry)

These go-to habits become crutches . . . to avoid my discomfort.

Do they dull the uncertainty and make a situation feel less painful?

Sure - in the short term.

Do they solve my dilemma?

Not even close. In fact, I usually end up feeling worse.

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So, what do I do instead?

At some point, I call myself on my own behavior.

I admit that I’m in avoidance mode.

And I choose to allow for discomfort in my day.

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You see . . .

There’s fear in not knowing:

• not knowing if someone will like us

• not knowing if we’ll succeed

• not knowing if the challenge in front of us will build us up or tear us down

There’s trepidation built upon remembering:

• remembering the good (“but what if this time doesn’t measure up?”)

• remembering the bad (“what if that happens again…or worse?”)

• remembering our past as if in a movie (“I felt so foolish…I must have looked like a fool too.”)

And there’s discomfort in moving forward:

• discomfort in feeling vulnerable

• discomfort in feeling hunger

• discomfort in feeling our heart beat faster than usual

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Every risk I take is accompanied by doubt.

Every step forward is taken with acceptance of possible failure.

Every day I feel the raw discomfort of life.

…….

And yet . . .

I take those steps anyway.

I make myself uncomfortable every day.

Why?

As in the words of Anais Nin:
”And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

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Doing nothing is its own form of death.

Repeating the same mistakes again and again invites decline.

And the answer to . . .

• not making the same mistakes over and over

• rewriting your story from the one you’ve resigned yourself to

• achieving your most cherished life goals is . . .

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You need to allow for discomfort in your life.

• physical

• emotional

• psychological

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Whenever I find myself . . .

caught in a rut

moving away from my goals

disconnected from my ultimate big Why

. . . it’s because I’ve decided to cling to what’s safe, known, and predictable.

As soon as I . . .

acknowledge what I can’t control

refocus on what’s important to me

ground myself in my greater purpose

. . . I find daily discomforts stop being dominated by fear and trepidation.

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• where there had been fear . . .

  • now I feel a stir of excitement

• where I’d once experienced trepidation . . .

  • I now anticipate new possibilities

• what once felt like a hole too large to fill . . .

  • now feels like a palm size of emptiness that makes me hungry to improve.

. . . all from making one choice - to allow for discomfort.

If what you’re doing now isn’t working . . .

and you don’t want to live a life of dissatisfaction . . .

I encourage you to do the same.

Uncertainty is real.

Guarantees are none.

The payoff to taking a risk is freedom.

xo

-Coach Rebecca