Step 5: Structure Your Environment for Success
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.”
― Steve Maraboli
When I think back to the life I used to have and the one I live now, the comparison feels like night and day.
If placed into the framework of a movie script, I’d have terms like “rising action”, “turning point”, “climax”, “dynamic characters”, “static characters”, “second rise”, “resolution”.
There were chapters of my life that I experienced as the world pushing in on me
turning points when I learned to push back
and when I started helping others do the same
There have been key decisions made,
relationships begun,
relationships ended
There have been moments of letting go
as well as moments of revelation
and rebirths
If I distilled down those times of when I felt
the world was against me vs. those times when I chose to be for the world,
I’d be able to distinguish the difference as one of
perspective,
a matter of choice,
a position of giving up or taking control
*******************
Whenever I get into a place
in my life …
in my mind …
where I feel anxious or on the defense,
I know it’s time to mix things up —
either on the
outside
or on the
inside
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Let’s consider something in your day that makes you feel nervous …
perhaps it’s a person (your boss who doesn’t act respectfully)
perhaps it’s a place (a restaurant that beckons you to enter frequently with their latest coupon)
or perhaps it’s a memory (of loss or regret that changed the course of your life)
identify that moment in your day when you go from a mental space of optimism and hope to a place where your brain shuts down and your heart sinks.
********************
If you have something like this that is part of your day …
there’s good news,
more good news,
and even some really great news.
The first thing we need to celebrate it that we’re not alone! Although uncomfortable, human suffering has been around for a while…and isn’t likely to go away any time soon. There has to be some solace in knowing that if you’ve ever felt frustrated, dealt with unhelpful desire, or had disappointments in life are … it’s a sign that you are still alive.
The second thing to feel good about is that when we’re feeling like life is pushing in on us, it’s a good time to listen. When we feel upset, controlled by a desire, or burdened by our past, this is our mind and body’s way of telling us something. What’s good about this? … that simply by recognizing the discomfort, we put ourselves into a position of power to take some action.
Thirdly, and perhaps the best news of all … once we’ve realized how we’re feeling, we get to decide how we deal with it. Yes, WE GET TO CHOOSE what we do about it.
*****************
I know what you’re thinking:
“wait…Rebecca, this is my only job…and I don’t get to choose my boss.”
“hey Rebecca…you don’t understand, the food at this restaurant calls me…it’s like I’m in a trance.”
“I know you’re trying to help, Rebecca, but how am I supposed to let go of my pain. I feel like I’ve lost everything.”
Here’s the beautiful part.
“I know.”
“I understand.”
“You don’t have to.”
And even better,
you don’t actually have to change ANYTHING …
only the things that you want to.
***********
When we are stressed, filled with desire, and sad, our options become very limited.
All we see is the mean boss.
All we notice is that beckoning restaurant.
All we think about is the gaping hole in our heart.
And although irritating, tempting, and filled with sorrow … it’s all ok.
You don’t have to DO anything about it.
***************
Instead, I’m going to show you what you CAN do.
What steps you can CHOOSE to take.
And what BENEFITS you might experience as a result.
Here’s what you CAN do:
If you have an unhappy boss:
You can change how you view your boss. Try on compassion for their misery. See if there’s something you can do to make her life better.
Find more activities outside of work that you enjoy so that the work environment doesn’t weigh you down as much.
If you are drawn to the tempting restaurant:
You can control how many reminders you have of that restaurant by driving a different route, or not opening the coupon mailer.
Find an alternative restaurant that you’d enjoy but has smaller portions or healthier options.
If you are living under the weight of loss or regret:
You can give the situation the attention it deserves by writing about it, or sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone you trust.
Find cracks of light to be noticed and acknowledged.
As for what you can CHOOSE:
With the boss you don’t like:
Choose to find one thing that you DO like about him.
Become the brightest light of kindness and hard work in the office.
With that self-sabotaging snack shop:
Choose to research what impact your food choices are having on your health.
Become the person you want to be by acting “as if” today.
With sadness in your heart:
Choose to be grateful for every person and situation that comes your way today.
Become for others, those dealing with the similar hardships, what you need for yourself.
And the BENEFITS you can expect as a result:
That boss who thought she’d have her own business at this point in her career:
By you being kind and compassionate in the face of her grumpy attitude, she can feel less bad about her circumstances, and might lighten up in how she treats her staff.
You are empowered by the impact changing your attitude has had on how you feel about your job, and already have ideas of what other changes you can make.
That highly processed food that you used to crave:
By you seeing it in a different light, no longer looks tasty after all.
You are impacted by the understanding that your whole future could be very different if you eat out less and add in more vegetables.
That space in your heart that used to feel like a giant hole:
By you giving yourself whatever you need to heal, you start to open your eyes and heart to all the people in your life who still need you.
You are expanded by your pain into a place where you are better equipped to help others … and find your heart filling up with new experiences and relationships.
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Whether it’s a negative relationship, unhelpful habits, or past hurts that are getting in the way of our success, when we are able to see what parts we DO have control over … especially, our
understanding
mindset
attitude
we place ourselves into a position of problem solving and possibilities.
Instead of feeling like passive participants in our own life,
we become the author of our own story.
… and your new story begins to be written
one word,
one sentence,
one paragraph at a time.
We do this as we:
make sure that our relationships are as positive as possible, and spend less time with the negative
surround ourselves with people who we can learn from, who have skills we hope to attain
clear out the clutter from our space that no longer brings us joy
are very careful and deliberate about who and what we let into our space
become deliberate about what we commit to and what we say no to
hold ourselves and others accountable to the commitments we do make
***********
Setting and attaining our goals starts with us coming out of hiding.
After that, we need to allow for discomfort.
Owning our desire is the third step.
The fourth step is to anticipate and remove temptations.
And here is the final step to achieving your goals, structure your environment for success.
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The truth is that our light,
our health,
our choices
all start in one place …
in our mind.
For this reason, I’ve chosen to get my Life Coach certification (expected completion by the end of December 2019). I am gaining the tools to get people the transformations they are looking for, regardless of whether they ever step into my personal training studio or join my online fitness program.
I believe that the world is a better place when we like the person we see in the mirror.
My mission is to help every client do that by
learning to love the body she has …
while working towards the body she wants.
Achieve transformation for a life of joy, purpose, and impact. Schedule your Free Transformation Consult today.
“Strength for Life ~ in a body you love.”
-Rebecca